Hey party people, what’s new? I’ll tell you what’s new: me being happy for the 1st time in a long time. But seriously, there’s this insane selective serotonin reputake Inhibitor called Prozac and it has done wonders for a little girly. After a long time of heartbreak, rejection, and feeling unimportant, I have risen up. lol. Anyway, with that, I have decided to write about some hard lessons I learned that at first, I didn’t know if i’d ever be okay with.
“We’re friends until you aren’t successful enough for me then i’ll drop you”
That is a blunt way of putting something that happened to me recently. I had some very good friends that had always supported me through all my endeavors and had been there since day 1. After a while, they quit doing that. My career wasn’t moving quick enough for them to support it. Some peers of mine had started to move past me which I honestly knew would happen and I didn’t really care. I knew I wasn’t on the same path and just tried to be happy. Well, they made it very obvious to me that that was happening. After a while of that, you start to think about it and become self conscious about yourself. At least that’s what I did. For a LONG time I compared myself to EVERYONE else along with constantly putting myself down even when I did good. It is honestly still a struggle sometimes, but during this time, it was constant. I was getting older and more impatient with myself and the world. Why wasn’t I getting the things everyone else was getting?? I was a mess. Finally, I quit trying to keep them in my life. I thought I was the wrong one and I should be moving quicker than I was. I let them go. It hurt a lot. I had known them since I was a a baby. I cried over it a lot. I felt betrayed and forgotten. I eventually accepted it and let go of the friendship. Since, I have felt so much better. At first, it was hard, but I then slowly began to stop comparing. I also made some new friends. I learned to never keep holding on to something if it’s constantly upsetting you and your relationships with other people no matter how long you’ve known them. Longevity doesn’t excuse betrayal.
“I see you’re kinda getting somewhere, now i’ll give you the time of day”
This one kinda goes hand in hand with the last. I was “nothing” to some and not worth the reply or even comment like when i’d comment. Now, suddenly I get some clout and you’re all over me. *Finally accepts friend request* *Starts to actually comment back* Pretentious vibes will get you nowhere with a (formerly) nobody like me. I was told by my mom that I was special but not that special. I am also aware that this behavior is very common in the industry and honestly any industry, but I am still new to this adult world and I am not a fan.
“Your after high school decisions are not what I envisioned so…goodbye”
When the life you chose and frankly, had already chosen doesn’t match the life your best friend chose, chaos is ensued. The trouble with simplicity is settling. Personally, that is not something I want to do. I know what I want and i’m sorry it’s not the same as you. I was willing to stay and include you, but I don’t know….Guess that is not what you wanted. And that is okay. Some things aren’t meant to last. Ya learn to live ya own life.